Through the Years
by Gilana1
Summary: Alternate Timeline that deals with a romantic relationship between Sirus Black and Remus Lupin, and with the question that what if the Ministry had arrived before Peter fled and framed Sirius, sentencing to Azkaban? Slash. DISCONTINUED
1. During Hogwarts

A/n: Hey, another RL/SB fanfics from me! It just popped into my head, and I had to write it down, and share it with everyone. Of course, it took me a while to get all down, but… Here it is! And I hope you enjoy it! No flames! R/R!

**Chapter 1**

Remus wasn't quite sure when it happened, but it happened. After he pieced things together, he figured out that it started fairly early, and had been going on for quite sometime. Whatever the case was, it had happened: He had fallen in love with Sirius Black.

At first, Remus couldn't figure out why he had fallen in love with him. And then he had taken a good look at his friend lounging on a couch finishing a Transfiguration essay after that thought had gone through his head.

Sirius Black was, possibly, the best-looking guy in Hogwarts, and Remus was hard-pressed to think of a girl (that wasn't in Slytherin, of course) that wouldn't agree with him. He was sexy, and just flat gorgeous. He had a tall, lean, well-muscled frame and longish black hair that occasionally fell into his beautiful grey eyes. Everything about him was gorgeous, and he knew that every girl outside of Slytherin House agreed with him. He also had a smile that could melt stone, and that he knew had melted more than a few girls' hearts.

Besides his astounding good looks, Sirius was arguably one of the most brilliant people in Hogwarts. James and Lily only rivaled him for the top spot in all their classes. Also, it was Sirius who figured out that he himself was a werewolf, and it was Sirius' idea for him, James and Peter to become illegal Animagi, and it was also Sirius' idea to make the Marauders Map. Sirius was also extremely charming, and could basically talk his way out of almost every situation.

Although there were things that Remus disagreed with Sirius on, he soon figured out that those reasons were also what made him love him so much. Sirius loved risk, and danger, and Remus knew (and he knew he would admit it) that he was the most dangerous of the Marauders. Even James drew a line somewhere. Sirius… He would push that line until it broke. That was the reason he and James spent so much time in detention. He or James would come up with some risky, dangerous plan that probably would get them caught, and neither boy would be able to resist the temptation of being caught. Sometimes, Sirius would push James into something that James thought was a little too risky… Or James would put his foot down, and Sirius would do it alone. Remus would worry for him, and Sirius always came back, cocky as hell that he had pulled it off, and not really caring that he had been caught.

Remus began to hate himself for falling in love with the delectable, sexy, gorgeous young man. Sometimes he would cry at night, after just thinking about Sirius, just wishing that all his feelings would just go away….

Well, they didn't. If anything, they grew every time he was around Sirius. Remus just couldn't help but love him.

Eventually, Remus had to come to the realization that Sirius would never, could never love him. Remus had figured out that that he was homosexual soon after he had figured out that he had more than friendly feelings for his fellow Marauder. Sirius, Remus was sure, was as straight as a pole. After all, he had almost every girl in Hogwarts after him, and he wasted no time giving almost every girl what they wanted. What else could he be but straight?

Sirius and Remus had met on Platform 9 ¾ at Kings' Cross Station in London on their way to their first year at Hogwarts. Their eyes had lingered on each other's the first time they laid eyes on each other. Remus always assumed that it was because it was right after the full moon and Remus looked weak, exhausted, and cut up.

Remus had been having trouble getting his trunk in the rack. The recent full moon had zapped a lot of his strength. Sirius had come up and just helped him, seeing him having some trouble.

"Let me help you with that." Sirius had said.

Remus quickly muttered a thanks, and gratefully accepted the help of the stranger who had helped him. After that, when they looked at each other, was when their eyes met for the first time. Hazel-amber lingered on grey for a while, before each boy realized what they were doing and looked away. James had come in soon after, looking for somewhere to sit, and that had broken the reverie between the two. Later, Peter had come in.

The four quickly became fast friends, and all were sorted into Gryffindor when they arrived at Hogwarts, which was a joy to the newly formed group. They would spend their time pranking and then rushing to get their homework done, something Remus usually made them do.

After a while, Sirius had thought up of a name for them: The Marauders. He had to explain to them what the word meant, and Remus didn't even bother asking how he had known it.

There were things that told them that the way they felt about each other was more than just the feelings shared between friends. However, both of them refused to see it. Remus simply thought that Sirius was… just messing around. It hurt him really bad, but he refused to let it show around his friends. Sirius… well, he thought the was going out of his mind. He simply didn't understand what was wrong with him. Usually, nothing…. serious, you could say, ever happened, besides Sirius flirting with Remus a little. However…

One time, close to the end of their 5th year, their potions professor, Professor Morano, and paired them up. In order to preserve peace, she had paired Lily up with Snape (so there would hopefully be no unnecessary yelling, and there was an odd number of both Gryffindors and Slytherins). James was paired up with a girl who had a hopeless crush on Sirius, Peter up with another girl who would probably be distracted by Sirius as well, and – simply because they were the only two students left – she paired Sirius up with Remus. They were, of course, delighted to be paired up with one of their friends.

The assignment was that they were to research a potion that they would be doing the next class. The potion in question was a potion with severe side effects, and she wanted all of her students to be adequately prepared, and know the risks that they were getting into. So, they would write a paper – together – on the potion, and then turn it in the next class, and then brew the potion. Remus, of course, insisted on getting it done at once, and so did James and Peter's partners. So, they all went to the library, and split up. A lot of the tables were taken, so Sirius and Remus grabbed the resources that they would need and then went back into a more secluded part of the library where they could study. There were no tables back here, so they were sitting on the floor doing the research, when Sirius spoke up, "Remus?"

Remus looked up to see his friend, whom he happened to be in love with at the time, staring at him. "Yes?" He asked.

Sirius then, just out of the blue, kissed Remus Lupin.

Remus could feel the experience in the kiss and despite how much he just wanted Sirius to take him in his arms and kiss him forever, he knew that this was way too good to be true. So, he ignored the electricity he had felt when he had felt Sirius' lips against his (to the best of his ability), and broke the kiss, and looked at Sirius in shock. "What are you doing?" Remus cried.

"Kissing you," Sirius said simply, although he looked a little confused.

"Why?"

"Because I felt like it." And it was the truth. Sirius, although he wasn't quite sure why, had just looked at his friend, and got this strange feeling. He wanted to kiss him… He wanted to take him in his arms and kiss him… to feel Remus' lips against his own. So, being the kind of guy to act on impulse, he had just done it. He had felt a strange… almost electrifying feeling when he had kissed Remus. He couldn't explain it…

"I don't know what you're playing at, but I don't appreciate it, Sirius Black, so let's just stop now, alright?" Remus said heatedly.

Sirius, though he wanted to argue and tell him that it was truth, and beg Remus to let him kiss him again, he just said, "Alright," with the same confused look on his face.

After they were finished, Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus began their walk back up to the dormitory. James noticed something off about Remus. Remus was still in shock about Sirius kissing him, and was more than slightly upset about it. He was sure that Sirius had no feelings for him, and was just messing with him, which he didn't appreciate it, no matter what reason he was doing it for.

"Remus?" James asked. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Remus said, the tone in his voice that said that he was not all right, but he wasn't going to say anything. So James let it go, and turned his attention to Sirius, who also looked… off…

"Sirius?" James asked. "Are you… okay?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine," he said, but he carried the same tone as Remus, which meant that he was most certainly not alright, but he refused to say anything. James also let it drop, and just turned his head forward, and they continued walking back to the dormitory.

Neither Remus nor Sirius was willing to tell James (and Peter) that they had kissed. Or, more correctly, that Sirius had kissed Remus. (Although Remus didn't exactly push him off right away…) When they got back to their dormitory, and went to bed, both Sirius and Remus had closed the curtains on their beds, thinking about what had happened (and why it had happened) as they fell asleep. As Remus thought about it, he couldn't help but let a some tears stray down his cheeks. He had really enjoyed Sirius kissing him, and that made it hurt that much more because he loved him… Remus kept telling him that it wasn't fair. Sirius, on the other hand, was generally confused, and just didn't understand why he had kissed him…

Towards the middle of their 6th year, the four of them were under James' invisibility cloak going back to the dormitory after pulling a prank on the Slytherin Prefects. Professor Morano, who had been making her nightly rounds, they supposed, was walking by, and all four got near the wall. Since James and Sirius were taller, they were in back, and the shorter two, Remus and Peter were in front. Peter in front of James and Remus in front of Sirius. As they got near the wall, they all hushed. Sirius, for whatever reason, put his left arm around Remus' waist, probably to get him closer so that they would have less of a chance of getting caught. Who knows. Then Sirius put his hand on Remus' hand, which lay on his heart. Remus, who was sincerely starting to freak out by now said, "Sirius, what are you doing?"

Sirius just put his lips next to his ear and whispered, "Shh, be quiet." His deep voice sent shivers down Remus' spine.

Remus tried pleading, as he was seriously starting to get scared now. "Sirius, please-"

Sirius just cut him off by laying his head on the side of Remus and shushing him again.

Remus was breathing really heavy by now, but managed to keep his voice low enough so that Professor Morano walked right past them and didn't even notice. Remus then said, pleading, "Please, Sirius, let go of me."

Sirius removed his arms. "Sorry," he said. He didn't realize why he had done what he had done, but he had. It seemed like a natural reaction for him. And the feeling of Remus' body in his arms and up against him didn't feel so bad either…

Remus was freaking out. As soon as they had got back to the dormitory, Remus had got changed, and got into bed, and shut the curtains on the bed. Sirius had done the same. Sirius lay there staring at the canopy forever, not able to figure out why he had done what he had done. Just like back when he had kissed him… Why?

Remus started crying, just like he had after Sirius had kissed him. It hurt so much, and it hurt even more because he liked how it felt when Sirius touched him, and he his arms around him the way he did. It hurt…

Towards the end of their 6th year, while Lily and Remus were doing their Prefects duty, Lily had noticed some things about Remus, and she was determined to bring it up with him. She had to know what was going on with him. She suspected, but she had to hear it from him….

As they were walking along, Lily looked at him. "Remus?" She asked. "I'm your friend, right?"

Remus looked at her. Her question confused him a little. "Yes, of course you are, Lily. Why would you even think otherwise?"

"I don't, but I had to ask." Lily said. Then she asked her second question. "You know you can confide anything in me? Tell me anything?"

Remus looked at her again, and nodded. "Yes…" He was getting very… curious about where this conversation was going.

"Well, I know that you aren't telling me something." Lily said. "I'm pretty sure about what it is, so I'm pretty sure I understand why you're not telling me, because I don't think you've told me. I would like it if you told me, though. Because I know that everything's not all right."

By this time, Remus had stopped, and Lily right beside him. His heart was beating so fast and so hard within his chest, but he tried very to hard to not show any outward emotion, and he was pretty sure he knew what she was getting at, but he feigned innocence and denial. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said, but Lily didn't believe him.

Lily gave him a soft smile. "Remus, I know you to well to fall for that. There's something that you don't want to tell me, and I think you know I know that I've figured out what it is." She laid a hand on Remus' arm. "Please, Remus. Talk to me. Tell me what it is that's been on your mind." She slowly got him to turn to face her.

Remus walked towards the wall, and leaned back on it. His calm façade had fallen, and he was struggling to keep all of his emotions inside. "Oh, Lily…" he said, his voice starting to crack with all of the emotions flooding through him. " I don't even know how to tell you…"

Lily gave him a calm smile, and stood next to him, putting a gentle hand on his arm again. "It's Sirius, isn't? That's what's been bothering you, hasn't it?"

Remus looked at her, and nodded. "I just… I…" He looked at her calming face, and her sweet, serene disposition, and almost broke down. "I love him, Lily. I love him so much." Remus struggled not to start crying as he admitted his feelings for the drop-dead gorgeous marauder for the first time out loud. "It's not just a crush either, I know that." He looked her in the eyes, still trying to cry. "I'm in love with him, truly in love with Sirius Black."

Lily just nodded, still smiling. "I know. I can tell. It's obvious to me."

Remus couldn't stand it any longer. He slid down to the ground, starting to cry. Lily kneeled down next to him. He slipped his heart out to the petite red head, telling her everything he had felt, and everything that happened between he and Sirius (meaning the kiss and Sirius wrapping his arms around him, and the flirting), getting everything off his chest. He ended wrapping his arms around his knees, and just crying. "It hurts, Lily. It hurts to be around him. Every time I see him, hear his voice, I just…" Remus then broke down, not being able to finish his sentence, not that he needed to. Lily understood. "I just don't understand." Remus said. "It's like he's trying to torture me…"

Lily shook her head. "He's not." She said simply.

Remus nodded. "I know it's not, but it hurts. It feels that way."

Lily, who had rubbing his back to try and help him and soothe his pain in some way, just nodded again, and said, "I know," being the good friend, and letting her friend sit there and pour his heart out to her. She was pretty sure she also knew why Sirius was doing what he was doing, but she wasn't going to tell Remus, because she knew that he would not believe her. After a little while, Remus stopped crying, but he just sat against the wall, still upset. Lily asked him, "Are you better now?"

Remus nodded, sniffling. "Yeah, I think so. It felt kind of good to say it out loud."

Lily nodded. "I'm sure it did," she said. Then, too lighten the mood a little, she said, "I just don't understand why you love him…"

Remus turned to her, completely shocked. "Oh, come on, Lily, you're a girl, you've looked at him. Don't sit there and honestly tell me that you don't think he's good looking."

Lily, reluctantly, said, "Yes, alright, he's good looking. But there's more to someone then their looks. I mean, Sirius is reckless, dangerous. He enjoys getting into trouble. I mean…" Lily started to struggle for words, but she was sure that Remus got her meaning.

Remus gave a small smile, and said, "Yes, but those the reasons that I love him." He then told her all the reasons of why he loves Sirius Black the way he did. "I can honestly say, Lily," he told her, "that if he was any different, and I wouldn't love him so much. I love for who he is, all of who he is."

Lily nodded. "Yep. That's what love is." Lily said. Remus and Lily sat there for a little bit, before Lily asked Remus another question. "Remus, are you… homosexual?"

He turned to her, and nodded. "Yeah." He answered. "I figured it out soon after I figured out that I felt more than just friendship feelings for Sirius. I mean, I knew that I would never feel attraction to a woman, ever. I mean," He turned to Lily, "you're cute and all, and so are other girls, but I could never… feel any attraction to you or any other girl. It's just… not there…"

Lily nodded. "Yeah, I understand." She looked away, and sighed. "We should get going doing our prefect duties before we're found and get in trouble."

Remus nodded. "You're right." They got up, Remus wiping the last remaining stray tears from his eyes. He turned to Lily. "Thank you."

Lily just smiled at him. "What are friends are for." Still smiling, she and Remus went on their way, and continued on their prefect duties.

It had felt to confide in someone, and from then on, Remus confided in Lily. He soon figured out that talking about his feelings for the delectable marauder helped some of the sadness that had come with an unrequited love. Lily would listen to him, talk to him, and counsel him. It was something that he had needed, and Remus knew that. He was very glad to have a friend lily Lily.

Lily, in turn, was glad to have a friend like Remus. When she and James started dating, Lily was able to go to him, and talk about him, and Remus was more than glad to listen to happy his friend had become.

Nothing else really happened between Sirius and Remus. Sirius still flirted with Remus, but he never did anything else. Sirius was still confused, Remus still loved him so very much, and he knew that there was nothing that he could about that. But he had learned to deal with it. He had come to the realization that nothing would ever, could ever, happen between him and Sirius Black. It was hopeless, and he knew it. He would just always to watch from afar, wanting him, loving him…

It hurt. Remus wouldn't deny, after a while that pain become numb, and it didn't hurt so much. Until Sirius would flirt with him, which still confused both young men. Sirius would continue to ask himself, "Why do I do that?" and Remus would continue to ask himself, "Why does he do that?"

Whatever the case, Hogwarts seemed to be a very emotion for both Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. They soon graduated, and went about their lives. Remus didn't see Sirius as much as he had at Hogwarts, naturally. Which was both a relief and not. He did love Sirius, and yes, it did hurt to be around him and not be able to be with him, but… At the same time, he had to be around, to see him. In these dangerous times, he had to know that the one he loved was all right.

Even if he would never, could never love him…

It was still some piece of mind for the werewolf.


	2. Realizations and Confessions

A/n: Here's another chapter! I hope you enjoy! Oh, and btw, I'm going to try to have this story through HBP by the time Book 7 comes out. Try being the key word, of course…  
LunasStar: Thank you so much! I'll try to!

**Chapter 2**

Sirius had been in a state of almost constant confusion for a while. Not about Voldemort, or the war, but… about Remus… He flirted with him shamelessly every time they saw each other, and he could never figure out why. He… wanted to, he knew that much, but to Sirius, that still didn't explain why. Like that time at the lake...

There was this lake near Remus' house that was divided between the Muggles and the Wizarding Community. One side for the Muggles and the other side was reserved for Wizards and Witches. The Muggles simply thought that it was reserved for "private guests" only and you had a have a "special pass" to get in. That was, of course, their wand. The Wizard or Witch just showed the person at the gate (always a Wizard or Witch) their wand and was allowed in to the reserved side.

It had been James, Lily, Peter, Remus and himself. They had been having a great time. James and Sirius were off goofing around in the water, and Lily was doting on Harry. Peter was just lying on the grass, looking up at the sky. Remus was leaning back against a try, watching James and Sirius.

Sirius, of course, tried to get everyone else to come in the water, which happened to be very nice that day. Lily had to take care of Harry, but she agreed, and brought the little boy to the water, letting him splash his fight as she sat on the sand near the edge of the water. Peter said he didn't want to go in the water, and was happy were he was. Remus, however, refused to go and take his shirt off, which he would have to do if he wanted to go swimming with James and Sirius.

James and Sirius knew that Remus had scars on his chest from all of his transformations, and insisted that no one would come along and see them, and one currently in the vicinity cared. Remus, however, was still embarrassed about it, and continued to refuse.

Well, Sirius, intrigued by the attractive young man – and, yes, Sirius had used the term "attractive" in reference to Remus, as shocking as that was to himself – started to think of a way to get his fellow Marauder into the lake, and get his shirt off. Part of him was shocked that he even cared – or seemed to be caring in the way that he did – and the other part simply thought nothing about it.

So, he devised. Trying to keep a devilish look off his face, he said to Remus, "Could you bring me something to drink? I've left my wand on the shore."

Remus seemed skeptical, but agreed. So, he grabbed a glass of something – Sirius didn't know what – and walked up to the water, handing the glass out to Sirius. Sirius motioned for him to come closer, and Remus stepped forward a couple steps forward, and holding his arm out just far enough that Sirius could grab it, dragging the young man down into the war, clothes, glass and all.

Remus stood up, appalled at Sirius' actions, and the fact that he was now soaking wet, and a perfectly good drink had just been wasted.

James and Peter were laughing their heads off. They thought it was hilarious. Lily was trying her hardest not to laugh, carefully keeping her attention on her son, and away from Sirius and Remus.

"Well, I got you in the water," said Sirius, a flirtatious smile on his face which no one seemed to notice except for Lily and Remus.

"That you did," said Remus, "and now look at me!" He was now soaking wet from head to toe, and his shirt would have to be dried.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, and looked Remus over head to foot. Actually, he thought he looked amazing so wet like that, his shirt clinging to his body, water dripping down his face, and arms… He didn't tell Remus that, though. He simply looked him over, and then met his eyes again, that flirtatious smile still playing on his lips.

Remus noticed it, and ran his hands along his wet shirt nervously. Sirius smirked, "Just take it off and throw it to Lily. She'll dry it for you and give it back to you when we get back out of the water."

Remus seemed to think about it. "Alright." He said, and he took off his shirt, throwing it to Lily, who caught it expertly.

He ran a hand through his hair, and stepped back a little. He must have stepped on something, because he began to totter and then fell forward, straight into Sirius' arms. Sirius helped him stand up, his arms on his waist.

Remus looked up, nervous uncertainty in his eyes. Sirius thought about how good it felt to feel Remus' bare skin against his own, and slid his arms instinctively around his waist, making Remus step forward closer to him, so that their bare chests were touching slightly.

Sirius felt him insides go on fire, and he could not figure out why he wanted to do this. He had an instinctive urge to kiss him again…

Remus' breathing was quickening, he tried to back up out of Sirius' touch, and Sirius let him. James, thankfully, had not noticed, as he had gone to play with his son a little. Remus ran another nervous through his hair, and stepped back a little. He turned around, and Sirius splashed him with water.

Gasping at the old, Remus turned around to see a devilish smile on his friend's face. "Ok, now that's it." He said, and splashed taller man with water.

They continued like that, laughing, until James got wet from one of their splashes and decided that he'd better join in, too, handing Harry back to Lily. The three of splashed water on each other until Peter excused himself. Lily decided that they had better go to, and started to pack up.

The three young men walked up to the shore, and Lily handed Remus back his shirt. They said their goodbyes, and went their separate ways.

Sirius hadn't seen a whole lot of Remus since, but he couldn't help remembering how if felt to feel Remus' bare skin against his own. He also couldn't help thinking that he would love to feel it again.

One day, Sirius went over to Lily and James' house in Godric's Hollow. Walking through the back kitchen door, Lily was there, cooking lunch.

"Hey, Lily," said Sirius after he had walked through the door.

"Oh, hello, Sirius," said Lily, turning her head back for a moment to look at it.

Sirius hadn't been able to get Remus out of his mind. It was driving him nuts… He had to tell someone… "Lily, I don't know what's wrong with me." He said.

Turning around, but keeping an eye on her cooking, she said, "What do you mean?" Sirius continued to tell her everything he had been feeling about Remus, completely confused as to why he was feeling this way. After he had finished, Lily smiled, and said, "Sirius, you're an idiot."

Sirius, who hadn't been looking at her, snapped his head towards her and said, "What? How am I an idiot?"

Lily gave him a patient but exasperated look and told him, "Think about what you're saying!"

Sirius thought for a moment, turning his gaze away from Lily, and then it all hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh dear Merlin…" His eyes widened in shock, and then he turned his gaze back to Lily. "For how long?"

With a patient smile on her face, she said, "I don't know, but it's been a long time. I was wondering if you would ever realize it."

His eyes took on a distant, but still shocked look. "I'm in love with him…" He said, voicing his feelings for the first time.

Lily nodded. "I was starting to think that you would never realize it." She said. "I know Remus had given up hope." Indeed, Remus had told her so himself.

Sirius' eyes widened. "Oh, Merlin – Remus!" He had almost completely forgotten about Remus' feelings, being too caught up in his own. "I should go to him. I can't believe I haven't noticed it before. I'm such a git… I have to go. Bye, Lily." He quickly got up, and left through the back door. He had to leave, and see Remus immediately if there was any hope of salvaging what Sirius had been too much of a git to notice.

Lily simply shook her head as he left, agreeing that he had been a git, and went back to her cooking.

Sirius hurried to Remus' house, and went through the back door. Remus wasn't in the kitchen, so he moved to the living room, and there he was, lounging the couch, reading a book about something or other.

Not bothering to admire him, he went and kneeled in front of him on the couch. "I'm been such a git."

Remus looked up when Sirius spoke, not knowing that he had came in the house. He held his book off to the side. "Well, I know that, but what did you this time?" Remus said, playfully, trying not to notice how close he was to him.

"The whole time… everything that happened… and I never realized." Sirius stared up at Remus, love shining in his eyes, and in his voice.

Remus' breathing started to quicken as he noticed the tone in Sirius' voice, and that look in his eyes. "What are you talking about?" He asked, uncertainty in his voice.

Sirius smiled serenely at Remus. "I've been too stupid to notice. Even after everything that went on between us, I just never realized it. That kiss… all of that shameless flirting, and I just… never noticed." Sirius inched closer to Remus. "I hope you'll forgive me for hurting you so much. I hope that you'll be able to see past that."

Remus' breathing quickened still, and the book was set down, completely forgotten. "What exactly are you saying?" He asked, even though he had a pretty good idea where this conversation might go.

Sirius kept smiling, and shook his head a little. "I still can't believe I never noticed… all that flirting, and more besides, with all those girls, and the whole time, what I wanted was right there in front of me… right from the start." Sirius said.

Remus leaned back slightly. "You don't know what you're saying." He said, his voice rising in shock and uncertainty at the handsome young man's words.

"I know very well what I'm saying. Remus," Sirius said, "I've always known. I was just too blinded by that fact that you were a guy, and I was… well, Sirius Black."

Remus' just kept breathing heavily, starting to panic at what Sirius was saying to him. Did he even realize the… full impact of his words?

Sirius just kept on, "You have to forgive me, I… I don't think I can go on. Please, Remus, I-" He was about to go on, but Remus interrupted him.

"Stop, Sirius, just stop." Remus said, trying to keep his voice calm. "You do not understand the gravity of what you're saying."

"I think I know full well the gravity of my words, Remus, I-"

"Don't say it, just don't." Remus said, interrupting him again.

"Remus, I-" Sirius began yet again.

"WEREWOLVES MATE FOR LIFE." Remus said loudly, trying to get Sirius to stop and listen to him.

"What?" Sirius said, making sure he had heard Remus correctly.

"Werewolves mate for life." Remus said in a softer tone. "If a werewolf falls in love, and, well… mates with someone, and chooses a mate, they… can't choose any other. They will be in love, and want to be with that person forever, there's no turning back."

"Remus, that's what I want." Sirius said. "I love you."

"Don't say it." Remus said. "Just don't say it."

Sirius sat up on the couch next to him. "Remus, please, believe me. I know that I've hurt, and that I've basically given you no reason to believe me, but please do believe when I tell you that I do love you," and before he could say another word, Sirius had captured Remus' lips in his own.

Remus didn't have time to react before felt Sirius kiss him. His body tightened, but eventually he succumbed to them, unable to deny the feelings he possessed for him, as passion welled inside him

The passion and fire between them in a simple kiss was incredible. Sirius slowly as he kissed Remus, began to move Remus back onto his back on the couch. Remus put an arm behind him to steady him.

Realizing what he was doing, Remus fought to break the kiss, saying, "I can't do this, I just can't do it."

"Can't do what, Remus, please," Sirius said, leaning in for another kiss.

"No, I just can't!" Remus cried, standing up, and walking towards the wall. Turning towards Sirius as he stood near the wall, he said, "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me, Sirius?"

"What are you doing, Remus?" He said. "I know that I've been a git, but please, I love you."

"Stop saying that!" Remus said. "You fall in and out of love all the time. I've seen it. Don't you understand? If I choose you, I just can't turn back. You can't just take my heart, and then tear it out. I won't recover. Sirius, I mate for life. If we do this, it's forever. You can't just turn your back on me and except it to be alright."

Sirius gave a knowing smile. "I know how you feel, Remus, and I understand. That's what I want-"

"It's what you think you want." Remus said. "None of your relationships have lasted."

"Because I was already in love with someone. I didn't want them." Sirius said. "Remus, listen, the reason none of the relationships worked out was because I was in love with you, I am in love you, and I have been since the first moment I laid eyes on you."

Remus' eyes filled with sadness. He still just couldn't believe Sirius. "Sirius, I just can't believe that."

"Believe it." Sirius said. He stood up, and walked over towards Remus. Remus backed up against the wall, trying to get away from Sirius, and Sirius put his hands on either side of him, trapping him. "Listen, Remus, I know that I've basically tortured you for all these years, but I know I finally know why I wanted to be close to you, to touch you," he said, running a hand through his hair and down his cheek. "I was just too stupid to see what was right in front of me. You, you were right in front of me the whole time, and I just never noticed. I understand what you were saying about werewolves and mating for life, and I completely understand. It's what I want, it's what I've always wanted. I would love nothing more than to wake up every morning, with you by my side, for the rest of our lives," he said as he ran the back of his hand down Remus' cheek. "I love you, with all of my heart. You have to believe me. I don't think I can go another day not being with you."

"Don't this out of guilt." Remus said, looking away. "Don't do it because you know that I can't choose any other, and you feel guilty." He turned his gaze to Sirius.

Sirius smiled. "I'm not. I'm doing this because I truly do love you, and want – no, need you by my side, from now until forever." He said. "I love you, Remus, I always have, and I swear on my life that I always will. Please tell me that you'll be with me. Please tell me that my stupid-ness hasn't ruined our chances for happiness." He leaned down, all the while having Remus trapped between his arms, giving him a light, but lingering kiss on the lips, leaving Remus' lips hungry for more. He leaned back just a little bit, to let Remus speak.

Remus put one hand on Sirius' elbow, averting his gaze for a moment saying, "You truly love me? And you want to be with me forever?" He couldn't believe it. He just had to ask him.

Sirius smiled, and nodded his head. "Yes, I do, to both questions. You are the only one I ever want in my life."

Remus looked up at him, smiling slightly. "Then it hasn't."

Sirius smiled even wider. "Good." He closed the gap between Remus' lips and his own, and covered them again. Their kisses were filled passion, and fire like Sirius had never known or felt before. They were also filled with their love for each other, which came out in every kiss, and every touch, like when Sirius lowered his hands, and took Remus in his arms.

Sirius broke the kiss, and stepped away from Remus. He took of Remus' hands in his own, and said, with a smile on his face, "Come on," and led him back to the couch, where they both sat down. Sirius then leaned, and began to kiss Remus again.

Remus, all the while, really had no idea what he was doing. However, he knew Sirius was an experienced kisser, so simply let the other man lead, hoping he wasn't making too much of a fool of himself. He knew that Sirius knew what he was doing. He broke the kiss. "I have no idea what I'm doing." He told him.

"Just let me lead." Sirius said, his face inches away from Remus'.

"What do I do with my hands?" He asked. He thought it was silly for them to just… lie there…

Sirius smiled, and chuckled a little. "You can just put them around my waist, on my chest, around my neck, wherever you like basically. When you get more experienced, you can do other things with them, like this…" He said, capturing Remus' lips again, and running a hand down his back. He brought the hand to his waist, and began to slowly move Remus on his back.

Remus broke the kiss again, having a feeling where this was going… "Sirius, no… I'm not ready for that, not yet…"

Sirius smiled and nodded. "I understand." He then moved Remus so that his back rested up against the armrest, and then began to kiss him again.

Remus broke their kiss again. "Er… are you hungry?"

Sirius, realizing that Remus was probably feeling… a bit overwhelmed at the moment, just smiled, and nodded. "Sure. You have food?"

Remus nodded. "A little. Enough, I think, for you and I tonight."

Sirius nodded. "Okay," and allowed Remus to get up and walked to the kitchen. Seeing him glance back at himself every now and then, he got up and followed him.

He just watched Remus cook, and they ate, having a short little conversation during dinner. Afterwards, they went back into the living room, and Sirius leaned back on the couch long ways, singling to Remus that he should join him. Remus did, laying his head on Sirius' chest as Sirius wrapped his arms around him, kissing on the forehead, or the side of his face every now and then.

"Can I stay?" He asked.

Remus looked up at Sirius. "What do you mean?"

Sirius smirked. "The night, Remus. Can I stay with you, in your bed, like I'm supposed to?" He asked. "If you would feel uncomfortable, I understand."

Remus smiled, and nodded. "Yes, you can, I… would love that."

Sirius smiled, and Remus felt his heart melt. "Great." He said.

Sirius made sure to go to his house quickly, and then made to sure to grab a set of clothes for the morning, and something to wear the night, and told himself that he would have to remember to move out soon, so that he could stay with Remus permanently. He would, of course, have to keep his flat rented, so that during the full moon, he could stay there, knowing that Remus would not let him stay in the same house.

That night, Sirius and Remus slept together, with Remus' back up against Sirius' chest, and Sirius' strong arms wrapped around him. Neither one of them could help but think, despite anything that they might… suspect about the other, that surely this must be paradise.


	3. Explanations

A/n: Here's another chapter! I hope you enjoy! Thank you all for your reviews. I'm sorry that it took me so long to update. I've gotten so caught up in other things, I just forgot, until I looked at the date I last updated, and realized that it's been over a year! OMG! I appreciate all of your reviews, every single one, since I don't get that many. (The highest one is Sirius and Remus – Marauders Era.) Anyway, thank you very much! I'll update, I promise! Enjoy the chapter! I hope it's not too long. ;)

**Chapter 3**

In the morning, both men woke up slowly, not wanting to greet the day, and instead, wanting to bask in the night before. However, eventually, they had to. Remus stretched, trying not to hit Sirius, whose arms were still around him. He slowly turned, and smiled at his bedmate who was already awake, smiling at him. "Good morning," Remus said pleasantly.

"Good morning, indeed." Sirius said, his smile widening. "Now this I could get used to."

"What?" Remus asked, his smile widening as well, moving closer to Sirius.

"Waking up to your beautiful face," Sirius said, running a hand through Remus' hair. "This I could definitely get used to."

A small blush crossed Remus' face. He put his arms around Sirius, and snuggled even closer to him, just wanting to bask in the moment, and enjoying the feel of Sirius' bare skin, and his well-defined muscles. After a few moments, he sighed. "Are you hungry, Sirius?" He asked.

"Mm-hm." Sirius said.

"Alright, then, let's get dressed and then go downstairs, and I'll cook you something to eat."

"Alright." Sirius said. He reluctantly let go of his lover – or who he thought of as his lover – got dressed, and went downstairs with Remus, who had gotten dressed as well. Sirius sat down in a chair at the kitchen table, while Remus began to make breakfast. Sirius just kept watching him as he glanced back every now and then to look at Sirius, and then went back to making breakfast.

Sirius began to get bored. He folded his hands on his stomach, and sighed, waiting for Remus to finish. When Remus was finished, he set a plate on in front of Sirius, and then one on the other side of the table. Neither one of them really knew what to say, so they just ate in peace, and then Remus began to clean up. Just as he finished, Sirius came up behind him, and put his arms around him. Remus just sighed, and leaned back, put his arms on Sirius'. Sirius pulled Remus closer to him, and Remus leaned back into him.

"I love you, you know that right?" Sirius asked Remus sweetly, his mouth close to his ear.

"I do now." Remus said, a smile on his face.

Sirius smiled. "Good." They just stood there like that for a while before Sirius turned Remus around his arms, and gave him a passionate kiss that lingered on Remus' lips afterwards. "Can I stay forever?" Sirius asked.

Remus tilted his head up, and looked Sirius in the eyes. "You want to move in with me?" He asked.

Sirius nodded. "Yes, I do."

Remus looked around. "Sirius, I… you…"

"Remus," Sirius said, holding a finger up, "I'll keep my flat rented so that I can go there during the full moons. I just meant for every other day."

Remus smiled. "I… would love that."

Sirius smiled as well. "Good." Remus threw his arms around Sirius' neck, and Sirius put his arms around Remus' back and held him close. They just stood there, embracing each other, before Remus stepped back. Sirius smiled at him. "Some people might think that we're moving a bit fast," Remus said. "I mean, we haven't been together 24 hours yet, and you're already moving in with me."

Sirius laughed softly. "Well… we've been in love for much longer…" He pointed out.

Remus also gave a soft laugh. "Yes, we're just making up for lost time."

"Right." Sirius said, nodding. They both had to laugh at that. Honestly, it was somewhat funny, but they were both confident that this was the right thing to do – the only thing to do.

"Besides," Remus said, "you've never been known for taking it slow."

Sirius chuckled. "Yes." He said. "And I promise that I won't go any faster than you want to." He gave another lingering kiss. Remus just smiled. They proceeded to move Sirius' things out of his flat, and making him a place in Remus' drawers. Afterwards, it was nearing lunchtime, and then they went over to Lily and James', as they had said before that they would be over for lunch.

They walked through the backdoor of Lily and James' house together, and Lily smiled at them, a curious expression on her face. "Did you…" She started to ask them, and they both smiled.

Sirius put his arm around Remus. "I went over to his house yesterday, poured my heart out, and begged for his forgiveness." Sirius said, looking down at Remus. "He agreed, and so graciously allowed me to spend the night." Sirius' smiled widened, and he looked around. "Where's James?"

"Upstairs with Harry," Lily replied.

"Speaking of James," Sirius said, "I'd better go… explain things to him." He sighed, and looked back down at Remus. "I'll be back." He gave him a short kiss on the lips, and left, passing through the open entrance on the other side near the right wall, turning, and walking up the flight of stairs that went to the second story of Lily and James' houses were the bedrooms resided.

Remus sat down in a chair at the table that was located in the center of the room. His face was glowing as he smiled at Lily, thinking about what happened yesterday. Lily could obviously tell. She stopped what she was doing, letting her spells carry on, and leaned on the table, facing Remus, a small smile on her face. "So, what happened?" She asked him. "You know I want to know the details."

Remus smirked at her, and recalled the events that happened after Sirius arrived yesterday, including the events that transpired earlier that day, before they arrived at Lily and James' house. "Lily, I… I can't even begin to describe how I feel, I…" He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

Lily gave her friend a calm, but stern look. "Are you sure it's wise to move so quickly? I mean, he's already moving in with you… Don't you think you're going a bit… fast?"

"We're making up for lost time." Lily raised an eyebrow. "Lily, I don't know… It just feels like the right thing to do." She sighed, and shook her head, letting the matter rest. "I almost didn't believe him. I was… am… so afraid of being hurt, but he seemed so sincere, I… I had a feeling he wasn't lying to me or fooling around."

"Sirius can be a git sometimes, but he didn't mean to hurt you. He's just… well, Sirius." Lily told him. "You can't blame him for not seeing it. Most guys wouldn't."

Remus nodded. "Yeah, you're right, but… He'd hurt me already, and I was so afraid that this would pass. I guess I still am partially afraid that in a couple of weeks that all of this will be gone, and he'll be through with me…" A sad expression crossed Remus' face.

"I don't think that's the case." Lily said, and looked up, seeing James and Sirius standing in the doorway of the kitchen…

Sirius walked up the stairs, and went into Harry's room. There was his best mate, leaning over Harry's crib, smiling and laughing at his little boy, as Harry smiled and laughed at his dad. Sirius smiled at father and son. "Very sweet and touching, Prongs," Sirius told him, leaning in the doorway.

James looked up. "Ah, Sirius, glad you're here."

Sirius walked over, and the two men shared a manly hug. Sirius looked down at Harry, and tickled him. "Don't think I've forgotten you, little man," Sirius said to his godson.

"Remus downstairs?" James asked.

Sirius nodded, bracing himself for what he was about to tell James. _I hope he takes it well…_"Speaking of Remus…" Sirius said. He sighed. "Look, there's something that I need to tell you."

James' expression turned serious. "Everything's alright, is it?" He asked, hoping that something was not wrong.

Sirius smiled. "No, everything's fine, better than ever even, I think…"

James raised an eyebrow. "What is it, then?" As they got Harry ready, and went downstairs, Sirius explained everything. James kept asking him if he was pulling his leg, to which Sirius replied that this one thing he would not joke about. James couldn't believe it… Sirius and Remus… This was not what he had expected Sirius to tell him. As they walked into the kitchen, James said, "So you two are, er…"

"A couple, as in romantically, yes, Prongs, as I've already explained to you." Sirius told him, and then looked at Lily and Remus. He'd heard the last bit of their conversation. "I hope you two weren't talking about what I think you were talking about." He sat down next to Remus, and smiled at him. "You know I would never hurt you."

Remus nodded. "I know, but… You'll have to give me time to get used this. You're not exactly the commitment type." Remus looked at James over Sirius' shoulder. He kept staring at them, and Remus sensed that all this made him a little uncomfortable. He looked back at Sirius. "You'd better lay off the charm, Sirius, I think it makes James uncomfortable."

Sirius glanced back at James, and sighed. He leaned back in his chair. "You're right, as usual, love," Sirius told him, "but I still wouldn't hurt you, despite what's happened in the past."

"To be honest," Lily said, "I thought you two would go on torturing yourselves forever. I mean… the both of you can so hardheaded sometimes, but at least Remus realized his own feelings, although for the life of him he couldn't figure out why you were hurting him, Sirius. You, on the other hand, Sirius, I thought would go on denying it for the rest of your life, as thick-headed as you are." She sighed. "You two are hopeless."

They stared at her. Sirius sighed. "Of course, you saw it all along, didn't you?" He asked her.

"I had suspicions, but not at first, no, but once Remus told me how he felt about you, which was right after you kissed him in the library that day – hush, James, you can ask questions later – I quickly figured out how you felt about him, but you didn't see it." Lily smiled at the two of them as she shook her head. "Like I said, you two are hopeless."

"Why didn't you say anything if you thought you knew how Sirius felt about me?" Remus asked her, as she watched her cooking spells.

"Would you have believed me?" She asked him.

He thought about it momentarily. "No, I would have told you were mental."

She gave him a patient smile. "Exactly," she told him. "I knew you would never believe me, so I just kept it to myself, hoping that Sirius would eventually figure it out for himself, the git."

"I'm sitting right here." Sirius said.

Lily just shook her head, and James could stand it no longer. He looked at Sirius. "You kissed Remus in the library?"

Sirius looked at him. "I didn't tell you that, did I? Remember that day in the library when Remus and I were paired up for that potions assignment? Well, he and I were in the library, and I got the urge to kiss him, so, I did. He didn't appreciate it very much."

"I thought you were just messing around. I was in love with you, so, no I didn't appreciate it." Remus said, getting in his two cents on the subject, as the muggle saying went. "I also didn't appreciate it when we were hiding from… Professor Morano, I think it was… in our 6th year, and you put your arms around me, and at the lake that one time, a few months back, when you pulled me up against yourself."

"That explains why you two are acting so weird when we left the library that day, and why Moony was whispering, and you were shushing him, Padfoot…" James said, partially to himself. Remus and Sirius nodded.

"Just out of curiosity, Sirius, what did you think all those times when you did those things, and all that shameless flirting with Remus?" Lily asked. "Oh, and you'd better thank Remus for forgiving you for being such a git."

"Honestly, I thought I was going out of mind. I felt this… unexplainable passion when I kissed him and when I touched him that I couldn't explain. I think part of me didn't want to see it, because I'm Sirius Black, the ladies man, you know." Sirius explained. "I mean, I guess I thought – actually, I'm pretty sure I thought – that I could not be attracted to another man, even though I was, and I just… didn't see it, so, obviously, I must be mental." He shook his head, then turned to his love, looking deep into his eyes. "Thank you, by the way."

Remus smiled, a slight blush crossing his face. "Don't mention it, Sirius." He said, his voice soft.

James cleared his throat, breaking the two men out of their moment. He looked at Sirius. "So, you are, er…" He said, struggling to find the right word.

"Gay?" Sirius shook his head. "I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual. I just figured this all out yesterday, so I'm not quite sure. I still find women attractive, at least I think I do… To be honest, I'm a little confused when it comes to that, but I think I'm bisexual."

"I am gay, though, James." Remus said, answering James' question before he could ask. "I figured that not too long after I realized how I felt about Sirius. Women are nice and all, but I just don't like them in that way, if you know what I mean, never have."

"You're pretty good at hiding it," James told him.

"Not really much to hide, to be honest. I'm not one of those girly girly guys or anything, you know," Remus explained, "and I learned how to hide my feelings for Sirius really early. After all, I thought he was only interested in chicks, not me, so I thought I had to."

"When did all this start?" James asked. He had so many questions. This was just… so unusual, and so unexpected. He was having trouble wrap his mind around it. "I mean, I know you two got together yesterday, but I mean…" He stopped, trying to figure how to voice what he was trying to ask.

Remus held up a hand. "I think I get what you're asking, James. I think I first started liking him…" He thought about it. "Well, to be honest, when I first saw him. I know I was only eleven, but…"

Sirius nodded. "I agree with Remus, that makes sense." Sirius said. "I felt… drawn to him that day for some unexplainable reason, and I couldn't explain why." Sirius sighed. "I know it doesn't make sense, I mean, I was only twelve at the time, but…"

James shook his head. "No, actually, that does make sense. You two were staring at each other when I walked in. I thought it was kind of weird, but I didn't say anything." James said, to which Sirius and Remus nodded, small smiles on their face, as Lily set down lunch on the table. James sat down at the table, and set Harry in his highchair. Everyone ate their meals, and then James and Lily struggled to feed Harry his baby food.

Afterwards, they adjourned to the living room. Remus and Sirius sat down close to each other on the couch, as Lily and James put Harry in his playpen, struggling to get Harry to lay down for his afternoon nap. No matter what he did, the little boy refused to go to sleep. He seemed too excited that Sirius and Remus were over, and didn't want to take a nap. James groaned, and looked at his best mate. "Sirius, can you please sing him to sleep?"

Sirius sighed. "James, I can't sing him to sleep all the time! I'm not here all the time! Didn't you two say it wasn't good for him to get too used to me singing him to sleep?" He asked. "I sing to him enough as it is!"

"Come on, Sirius, it's not all the time." James pleaded. "Just this once."

"Once? I sing to him every time I'm over here!"

Lily looked at Sirius. "He does fall asleep easier when you sing to him, Sirius. He's too excited because you're over, and your voice is the only thing that actually gets him down when you're around. We don't have this much trouble when you're not around." Lily told him. "I usually do when you're not around, and I'm all right, but you…" She smiled. "You have the most gorgeous voice. I love to hear you sing."

Sirius sighed. "Hand him here." James grabbed Harry, walked over to the couch, and gave him to Sirius, before standing back near his wife. Sirius began rocking him, and then they heard his singing voice float across the room as he sang Harry his favorite lullaby, an old muggle one Lily had taught him that Harry loved. Sirius had a beautiful, rich baritone voice, and Harry quickly succumbed to the beautiful melody of Sirius' voice, and fell asleep. Muttering a thank you, Lily grabbed her son, and whisked him off upstairs to his crib.

"Thanks a bunch mate. Whenever you're here, he never wants to sleep." James said.

"No problem." Sirius smirked at James. "Do you need me to sing you to sleep, too, so you can take a nappy-poo?" Sirius teased.

James gave Sirius an ungrateful smirk. "No thanks. I'm fine, really."

"Where's Peter, by the way, I thought he was going to show up sometime today?" Remus asked. "I noticed he never showed up."

"He flooed us earlier that he had somewhere to be – something for his mom or something like that – and said he'd be by later." He looked between the two. "If he shows up while you guys are still here, you two need to… explain things to him. If not… I guess Lily and I can, but I don't think he'll believe us." As it happened, he did show up, and things were explained to him, although he did not like it. It made him severely uncomfortable, and he left shortly after, saying he had another errand to run for his mother.

As James went to get Harry up from his nap, Sirius put a comforting hand around Remus' shoulder. Lily was in the kitchen, seeing what they had for dinner tonight, as it seemed Remus and Sirius were staying a little while longer. "Don't worry, he'll get used to it." Sirius whispered, so that Lily wouldn't hear. "It'll just take some time for him to get used to, like James."

Remus nodded. "I know, I know, but, I guess it just bothers me that some people care so much. I mean, James seems pretty okay with it, but it seemed to really bother Peter." Remus sighed.

Sirius kissed Remus on the side of his cheek. "Some people are like that, and I have a feeling that's something that we're going to have to get used to." After dinner, they talked some more, and Sirius played with Harry a little, before Lily asked Sirius to sing Harry to sleep for the night before he left. Sirius sighed, but obliged. Going upstairs, he set his godson in his crib, and sang the little boy into a peaceful slumber.

Remus was leaning in the doorway when Sirius went to leave. "You're so good with him, and you do have a beautiful voice. I love hearing you sing."

Sirius walked over to Remus, and put his arms around him. "Remind me to sing for you, then, and I will." He gave him a kiss, before they walked downstairs, excused themselves from James and Lily's presence, and went back to Remus' house. Sirius convinced Remus that it was time to go to bed, even though it was still rather early. When he and Remus got to Remus' bedroom, they changed into their nightclothes, and Sirius caught Remus from behind, and put his arms around him, holding him close this body.

Remus gasped in surprise at feeling Sirius' strong arms pulling him up against his love's body, feeling Sirius' well-built muscles up against the cloth on Remus' back. He gave another gasp as he felt Sirius' lips on his neck, as Remus leaned his head the side, giving Sirius a little more room. Remus moaned, and Sirius turned him around his arms, so that they were facing each other, and captured his lips in his own. Remus put his arms around Sirius' neck, and the two of them backed up, until they fell onto Remus' bed.

The two scooted up, until Remus' head was lying on the pillows, and Sirius continued his attentions to Remus' lips. Remus never imagined that this could feel so… good. Sirius was so passionate. Remus didn't know what to do besides follow Sirius' lead. He gasped as Sirius snaked his hand underneath Remus' shirt. If this felt this good, how would it feel if he and Sirius actually made love to each other? Remus wasn't sure, but as Sirius pushed himself up against his body, and he felt Sirius' arousal, he wasn't sure he cared. Snogging with Sirius was just fine for Remus, just fine.

Sirius snaked his hand around Remus' body, feeling his love's muscles, and the many scars that adorned his flesh. He snakes his hand in between their bodies, and down between his loves' hips, and Remus arched his back, forcing them to break their kiss, as he moaned. Sirius rubbed his lover's arousal, caressing it, before they both became spent, and laid down, their breathing heavy. They just shared a kiss, before Remus laid his head on Sirius' chest, and they both drifted off to sleep, thinking that if paradise existed, then this must be it.


End file.
